"The chalkboard"

"People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their beauty is revealed only if there is light from within."

                                                    - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Each and every morning while I am having my breakfast i try and find an inspirational quote to help get me thru the day - this was today's and i liked it so much i thought i might share it with all of you - Usually what i do is i post the quote in my kitchen on a chalkboard that i received as a gift from my sister from Etsy.  (love this site - if you haven't checked it out - do so!!!!).  For me - each and every day is a new challenge, a new task at hand - trying to get better not only physically but mentally as well.  Blogging as well as following all of your blogs has helped me immensely but i also think that focusing on an inspirational message each and every day can help.  I find when I am struggling i just think of the quote and push myself to go further - to take that extra step.   I find myself looking at "my chalkboard" several times a da

y to get that extra push that i need - and how convenient - its in my kitchen - the place where

 i tend to need that encouragement.

Like the quote says we all are like stained glass windows - colorful, bright and unique.  Each is a work of art - intricately put together with little pieces.  Each with a unique shape and color that when put together - fit to make something extraordinary - We too are like the stained glass - we are each unique and bright - we each have a light inside of us that can shine bright - but remember light needs nourishment, needs the flame and the wax to burn.  Without it it becomes dim and fades into the background.  How do you nourish that light inside of you??

A picture of my lovely dinner from yesterday - "Grilled eggplant and roasted red pepper parmigane with fresh spinach and fire roasted tomato sauce"  (homemade!!) served with whole wheat pita for dunking!!!   The verdict - delicious -  I could not remember the last time i had eggplant parmigane - i challenged myself and nourished the little light to help it shine bright.

                                                                    picture pre-baking

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday and remember to find that light inside of you!!

Obstacles in Life

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - - real life.  But then there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business - time still to be served, a debt to be paid.  Then life would begin.  At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."  Alfred D. Souza

As I sipped my morning coffee I stumbled across this quote and realized who pertinent it was to my life right now.  Life is full of obstacles - each day filled with struggles - trying to make today better than yesterday - but how too often i say tomorrow ill do this, or make this change, tomorrow will be better.  Then my life will begin.  Why am i waiting till tomorrow???  With each and every day that i "wait" to make a change its one more day of my life that has passed, i have failed to live my life.  I am tired of waiting and thinking that then my life will begin.  I am tired of using these obstacles as excuses for me not living my life to the fullest.  

Life is TOO short to let this happen - i unfortunately was reminded of this first hand yesterday when I had to tell a patient of mine that she had breast cancer.  Now although i deal with issues like this constantly this patient was young, appeared healthy and had a family , her whole life ahead of her.  Now given a diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer her life is crumbling in front of her - totally out of her control.   Life truly is precious - a gift from God - each day meant to be cherished and enjoyed to the fullest extent.  I am ready to start living - are you??

  Some of my eats as of late and thing i've been enjoying:

                                         fresh roasted asparagus drizzled with balsamic vineagr

                                             Oven roasted red peppers with fresh basil and garlic

                                                        Vine ripened cherry tomatoes with basil

              My favorite when the weather is warm: fresh chickpea hummus with roasted veggies and an Ezekial pita!!!!!!   Perfect when the veggies are in season - simple and satisfying.

          Hope you all have a wonderful Saturday - live today to the fullest!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                       xoxo aimee  

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good morning and happy Wednesday - today is St. Patty's Day - such a huge holiday here in NY with the yearly NYC parade - today is going to be 60 degrees and sunny - so get out there, wear your green and get your Vitamin D!!!!  Remember everyone is Irish today!!!!!

I will not be going to the parade but instead going

 to work this morning and then going to the opening of the new Whole Foods in my town!!!!  I'll be sure to take pictures of my new foodie finds.  Things for the past few days have been good - went to therapy yesterday and had a great session.  Did a lot of talking about how I seem to have black and white thinking - either all or none, right or wrong.  I never realized how much this contributes to my Ed and how unhealthy this type of thinking is - i can never seem to see the inbetween.  This contributes mostly to my type A personality.  I have always strived to be the best - never wanting to disappoint anyone 

- being the best daughter, friend or doctor.  What will make this person happy rather than what will make me happy.  

Ed robs our lives of our dreams our desires our hopes - they become clouded by the control he has over our lives.  

Well in honor of St. Patty's Day - make sure you

 eat your daily dose of greens!!!!  Im thinking of twice baked sweet potatoes stuffed with fresh spinach roasted broccoli and topped with greek yogurt

"May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow

                               and may trouble avoid you wherever you go."

                                                   Love to all - xo aimee 

"SPRING AHEAD"

"Just as sunflowers turn their heads to catch every sunbeam so too have we discovered a way to get more from out sun."  (webexhibits.com)

Happy Sunday!!!!!!!!!!   Hope all of you who live in the east remembered to move your clocks ahead one hour!!!!  Although we lost an hour of sleep I still love this time of year - it means we gain one more hour of sunshine.  Well yesterday actually turned out to be a great day despite the horrible weather.  I found out that my best friend was discharged from the hospital and thankfully home.  we talked for hours on the phone and skyped while eating our favorite snack - frozen yogurt!!  I had Red Mango original and cocoa topped with fresh bananas, blueberries, blackberries and strawberries and added some organic cinnamon - heavenly!!

While I was there I was so excited to hear that

 next week in honor of spring - new flavors: blueberry, white peach and raspberry green tea!!!!!!!!

Dinner was also one of my favorites : roasted sweet potato rounds with organic ketchup and grilled tofu on top of fresh arugula with homemade honey mustard dressing!!!  I enjoyed it so much that I forgot to take a picture but here is what my sweet potatoes look like after roasting.  I take my sweet potatoes and cut them into half inch rounds then spray with olive oil and season with fresh sea salt, chili powder and garlic - then roast on broil for 25 minutes at 400 degrees - they come out crispy on the outside while soft on the inside!!!  I love my sweet potatoes spicy!!!!!

I also particularly like my tofu spicy as well - i simply cut the tofu into blocks and season with salt, smoked paprika, garlic and chili powder - spray with olive oil and broil for 20 minutes.  During the last 10 minutes of broiling i brush on my homemade mustard dressing 

                            Recipe for mustard dressing:

              1. Annie's organic yellow mustard - about a tablespoon

              2. Heinz apple cider vinegar - about 1 and a half teaspoons

              3. Stevia

              4. Annie's barbecue sauce - about 1 and a half teaspoons

Mix all together and add some water to thin it out to desired consistency.  This is a great dressing for arugula and spinach salads as well.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday filled with bright sunshine and thoughts of spring!!!!!      xoxo aimee

The Power of Zinc

Hello there and Happy Saturday!!!!!!   Sorry ive been missing the past couple of days but life has been quite hectic and stressful - work has been insanely busy - lots of babies born this week and in my personal life two friends were hospitalized this week - thank god both are doing well but i can't help but worry about them!!

Unfortunately here on Long Island the weather for the weekend is NOT looking too promising - lots of rain and flooding are expected.  I always find that my mood is directly related to the weather - if its rainy i tend just to feel down in the dumps - thats why this morning had my mood boosting banana in my greek yogurt mess!!!!  Remember how bananas can help turn that frown upside down!!! We'll see what happens.

Since i received such positive feedback regarding my post on foods that help with feelings i did some more research on foods to help with Ed. - I recently read several articles which state that some studies show that increasing the amount of zinc in diets of girls suffering from Ed can actually help in the recovery process!!!

Most of the studies show that low levels of zinc lead to depression, anxiety and eating disorders.  Zinc is an essential nutrient for immune function,  insulin synthesis as well as taste and the sense of smell and healthy skin!!   The best dietary sources of zinc are protein sources.

The best vegetarian sources of zinc include:

     Pumpkin Seeds

      Chick peas

Mushrooms

     

     

Dairy sources such as yogurt, milk, cheese

     Tahini paste

So try some of these foods to help with your recovery process!!!!!!!  Some great ways to incorporate these foods - hummus with veggies, adding pumpkin seeds to your yogurt or cereal!!   

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and remember how special, important and deserving each of you are.  Recovery is worth the struggle!!!!!!

                                                                  xoxo aimee

"Turn that Frown Upside Down"

Good morning and happy Tuesday everyone!!!!  Well today i am going to try and have a better day than i did yesterday - im sorry but I have to be honest - yesterday was not a good day - did you ever wake up and just feel "off" - well I did and i was plagued by Ed the entire day - i usually try and be positive as much as I can in all my posts because i want to help so many others that struggle but yesterday i just was plagued by GUILT!!!

  GUILT - yes that is the feeling i feel most when i am deep in my Ed.  I'm not sure why - i feel guilty when I am eating something i truly enjoy or if I am doing something for me, whether it be buying something i don't really need but just want or just relaxing or asking someone for help - all of these things make me feel guilty!!!

     I always want to look like the strong, independent, competent doctor who has no problems - but yesterday i just caved in.    Its funny - Ed makes me feel so guilty and fearful.  How does your Ed make you feel???

Well i decided to do some research on "guilt" - it comes from an old English word glyt - which means crime.  Sure, people usually feel guilty or remorse after committing a crime or something serious but people can also feel guilty whenever they go against what may be considered socially acceptable or going against the "norm".   What i found to be particularly interesting was that feelings of guilt are extremely common in perfectionists - people that continuously strive to be the best - this intense drive to succeed is taken to an extreme -

     People who are struggling with Ed - like me as well - tend to be perfectionists - type A personality.  We want everything in life to be perfect - well that is on the outside  - our weight,hair, clothes , job, social life - everything socially acceptable.  It is when we take this to the extreme we get deeply embedded in our Ed.  Coming to terms with these feelings of guilt and resolving issues is the only way we can begin our journey to recovery.

I think what is most important is realizing the life is not perfect - we will have good days and bad days, successes and failures, highs and lows - just as long as the positives exceed the negative can we be on the journey to recovery.

So how did my Monday pan out and how did I deal with these feelings of guilt???

Well I woke up and ate my usual breakfast of Kashi cereal and almond milk and had my 2 cups of blueberry tea to try and ease my mind.  

Then off to work it was - as the morning wore on I became increasingly more frustrated and just no myself.  Lunch came along and as I sat eating my favorite greek yogurt, Galaxy Granola and massive amounts of fruit the guilt was just unbearable.  So what did I do - i knew I had to do something so I called my best friend - my "peppermint life saver" - she too suffers from Ed and immediately upon her hearing my voice she knew something was wrong - what intuition!!!!She calmed me and I was able to eat my lunch but it was back to work and I was thinking about dinner!!!   Dinner was supposed to be one of my "fear" foods that I have successfully eaten 3 times in the past month - homemade whole wheat pizza with veggies.  Now i still remember about three weeks ago when I challenged myself to eating this and how much I enjoyed it - but guilty - again whenever I do something that I enjoy i feel guilty!!!!

Over and over in my head i contemplated whether to make the pizza or not - do i make it and eat it, enjoy it but have to feel guilty - or just eat something safer and let Ed win and then be even more terrified the next time I decide to eat this.  The verdict???  

 I  won and ate the pizza all due to one thing - again my "lifesaver" - i called here around 4pm told her the situation and she totally calmed me, made me realize that if I have to gain weight which I know is necessary i might as well eat things that I LIKE!!!!  Plus - homemade pizza is so healthy - i know all of the ingredients - whole wheat, tomatoes , grilled veggies and low- fat cheese!!

And you know what the best part was - she too made pizza for dinner!!!!!  Do you know how much that helped me - knowing that someone else was going to also eat a fear food and UNDERSTAND what i was going thru????   This to me was key - i wanted to share this with all of you who are struggling because i am so lucky to have someone who I can reach out to - i think this is integral to recovery.  Knowing that you are NOT alone, someone who understands.

And not being afraid to ask for help or to say that you are struggling.

I am so lucky to have found such a person and I hope that all of you can too.  I think the more we are in tune with our guilty feelings and realizing that we are WORTHY of making ourselves feel good and that not everyday is perfect can we truly see the "light at the end of the tunnel" 

Well i hope this post gave you all some insight - may today be filled with feelings of comfort, peace and love!!!!!!      xoxo aimee 

Food and Mood

Good morning and happy sunny Sunday!!!   It truly is amazing how much better I feel when the weather is nicer - how about you??  This morning I heard on the radio how the weather totally affects people's mood and outlook as well as the types of food one is consuming.  I decided to do some research on this because i tend to do better 1. when the weather is nicer and 2. when i am in a good mood - so if I can eat things that might help keep my mood elevated then maybe recovery would be easier!! Here's what i found:

First of all remember that FOOD IS FUEL - without fuel we tend to feel lethargic and well simply depressed

1. Foods high in folic acid - these foods help maintain levels of serotonin in the brain - serotonin is known as the "happy" hormone.  Studies show that women whose diets lack folic acid have higher rates of depression.   One of the best sources of folic acid is spinach.  One cup has 262 micrograms of folic acid!!!!!  I love spinach - not only is it high in folic acid but also very high in iron and since I am a vegetarian and do not eat red meat it is important to get iron daily to prevent anemia!!!!   Other good sources of folic acid are asparagus, broccoli and lentils.

2. Foods high in Omega-3-Fatty Acids - these essential fatty acids are found in high concentrations in the brain and have been found to be important in both brain function (memory) as well as elevated mood and behavior.  Some of the best vegetarian sources of omega 3 are walnuts and flaxseeds.  I love flaxseeds and usually add them to my greek yogurt or smoothies.  They have a nutty flavor and also are a great source of fiber.

3. Bananas - bananas are a nutritional powerhouse - they are a great source of potassium as well as being high in tryptophan.  Studies show that women who are recovering from depression have low levels of tryptophan.  Therefore - eat your bananas!!!

4. Dairy products:  rich in Vitamin D - these products also boost serotonin levels and help elevate mood.  Whey protein has been found to decrease anxiety and frustration.  Remember too that dairy is an excellent source of calcium - to prevent osteoperosis - i suffer from osteoperosis due to my Ed and therefore eat yogurt at LEAST once a day!!

5. Whole grains - carbohydrates!!!  these are essential!!!  Have you ever known someone who is on the Atkins diet - what is their primary complaint - they are tired and moody!!!  Whole grains  especially foods like oatmeal, sweet potatoes, whole wheat bread, pasta, brown rice and quinoa all supply the brain with glucose the most basic sugar.  The brain needs glucose not only to function but also to stabilize blood sugar.  By keeping our blood sugars steady we not only feel good - we don't "pass out" and this can improve our mood and concentration and memory and help us feel alert!!!!

Well i thought this was interesting - i know I am going to try and incorporate more of these foods in my diet!!!!  Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday with HAPPY MOODS!!!!

                                       Love to all and keep strong!!!!!!!!!!   xoxo aimee

The Future

Good morning and happy Saturday - i woke up this morning to beautiful sunshine here on Long Island - today its supposed to reach almost 50 degrees!!!!  Just to think that yesterday it was actually snowing here - Sorry ive been absent the past two days but work has been insanely busy - lots of babies being born.  I also want to say thank you for all the positive comments i received about my job - i must admit i was very reluctant to mention what I did - i wasn't sure how many of you would react.  

I did have therapy this week and had a great session - im learning that most people with an Ed actually start to "recover" when they have something to "get better for" - a goal, a dream something to strive for.  My therapist asked me what i am looking for out of my life , what am I unhappy with or what do I want for the future.   So many questions - my head has been spinning just trying to think of what i truly want out of my life.

     It seems that all my life has been programed or scheduled.  I went to college, then medical school then residency.  Finally finished my residency in a specialty that i though I loved and entered private practice with my father (my dad too is an ob/gyn).  Now after practicing for a few years i am realizing that although i would never give up being a doctor i feel that i would like to eventually (when i myself am better) work with others who struggle with Ed.  This is my dream.  

I hear horror stories of different institutions that try to "help" us who are struggling but i feel many of these places just restore weight and don't address the true problem that lies beneath.  i don't know - maybe my idea sounds crazy - but my therapist believes that since i am so unhappy with my current situation this should be my goal - to get better so that i can help others and open my dream treatment center which would be so unique and different than all the others.  What are you all dreaming of - how do you see your lives better without your Ed???

Without something to look forward to or strive towards i feel only keeps us stuck in our ED - 

Here are some eats from the past few days:

    Lentil bean chili - served in corn tortillas with fresh spinach 

   grilled fresh asparagus with fresh basil and oregano

favorite snack of Oikos greek yogurt with fresh blueberries and valencia oranges lightly sweetened with stevia while paging thru the new Anthro catalog!!!! (you have to check it out

not only for the clothes but the amazing pictures!!!!)

Well i hope you all have an amazing, fun-filled weekend and hopefully the sun is shining wherever you are!!!!

                                       "What lies behind us and what lies before us

                                     are tiny matters compared to what lies within us"

                                                                       xoxo aimee                                                         

"The Gift of Life"

2AM - that's what the clock says as i turn over to answer the all too familiar ring of my cell phone. I know that at this un-godly hour it can only be one type of call - a pregnant patient in labor. My intuition is right - my patient is having contractions - . I reluctantly hang up the phone stumble out of bed and try and get dressed in the dark - throw a headband in my hair, quickly brush my teeth and head out into the cold night air. Yes this is my life - full of unexpected surprises - The nature of my job - (being an obstetrician gynecologist) is full of these surprises. The all too familiar drive to the hospital at this hour gives me time to think - this particular morning i was thinking how funny it is that i picked a specialty of medicine that is so unpredictable - women deliver babies 24 hours a day - seven days a week - . What's funny is that as i drove this morning i realized that this is the one aspect of my life that is so "unstructured" My eating disorder likes structure - a plan, every day is always planned out. Ed doesn't like surprises - whether it be a new food, change in plans or anything that is just out of the norm. I'm slowly starting to realize that life is meant to be varied, variety is the spice of life. When im working its the one aspect of my life that I am able to be a person separate from "anorexic aimee" - i am able to function as Dr. Aimee - for a few hours i am able to forget about this "other" half and lead an Ed free life.

Life is so precious - my job has definately taught me that . Nothing should be taken for granted - our family, friends, health, even simple things like a beautiful flower blooming in the springtime - 

I hope you all have a very happy Wednesday and remember to take time and smell the flowers!!

"There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle"

-Albert Einstein

I hope you can see the miracle in your life today

xoxo aimee

March 1st - "Sticky Monday"

Good morning and happy Monday - Today is a "sticky" day - its March 1st and do you know what holiday today is "National Peanut butter Day!!!"  Peanut butter is probably the most popular spread for sandwiches in the United States.

Some facts about peanuts:  

  1. Peanuts are actually not nuts at all - they are ac

tually legumes, like peas and lentils!!!

  2. Americans eat 3 pounds of peanut butter per person each year!!!

  3. One acre of peanuts will make 30,000 peanut butter sandwiches!!!

  4. Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of getting

 peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth!!

  5. 60% of consumers prefer creamy over the crunchy variety

  6. Spread the word - peanut butter is the leading use of peanuts in the USA.

What are your favorite brands of peanut butter - and what  is your favorite way of using this spread?????

By the way if you can't enjoy this enough today - don't worry - tomorrow is National Peanut Butter and Jelly day!!!!!!   (i love jelly - especially fruit preserves)

                    Have a glorious Monday everyone and eat your peanut butter!!!!!!!

                                                                                                  

xoxo aimee